The Foundation of a Godly Marriage

What's going on? Here we are again. We're talking about marriage things. Marriage talk today and we're so grateful. We're thankful.

Honestly, to be able to to minister together, my wife and I is always been a pleasure for both of us and we wanted to be able to share. You know how people get on sometimes and want to share the goodness on what they're doing. That's our desire. We we we just happy go lucky couple. We really are.

If you know us, we have friends that understand that we are committed to the word and we're committed to our marriage through the word. So, we want to pray for couples today. We want to pray for marriage, married couples today. Newly weds, newly wedded, engaged to be married, the those that are in marriages, also though, the ones who are have been heavily invested in marriage. You see how I put that all together?

And the one thing that I wanted to start with because there's a foundation. When we talk about, you know, marriage and marriage understand as a couple and if you if you've done this, there's there's no reason to understand that not to be undone. However, you can do it right. We want to do it right. Can we, Imma be transparent to tell you that this is not our first marriage.

It's this is both, this is our second. So, we didn't get it right and the reason we didn't get it right is because we didn't do it biblically. That's no attest to the ones that we were married to. I'm not saying anything negative. It's just that when you know that this is a godly marriage is a godly marriage is when you don't just work it out or you don't just appease one another.

Right. You you really transform into a godly person for your mate. So, as we get this started, we want to have it as a as a clean-cut conversation, communication, calling it marriage talk. It's something that's very something that's very important to you. You will not not work on.

Don't don't look at it as a as a job but it's a collaboration. It is truly a collaboration. So, I want to read because there's times when I want to read scripture. And then I say to myself, I let my flesh get in the way and say, man, they already know that.

Right.

They they should already know I don't think that was going work, sweetie. We have one. But I think sometimes we misunderstand what the word has said and what it what it means to be a godly couple.

Right.

So, I want to read the scripture. I want to start with the creation if you will of of man and woman. I want to start there because the here's here's the creation of family. Right. So, I want to read it because it helps me.

God's family.

God's family. Yeah. I want to read it because it not only is for married godly couple, it helps us to to understand and go back. There's times that we need to really go back to where that that the originating originator originated it.

That's a mouthful.

Yeah. So, let's let's be let's be real with it. So, know, Imma read. I I may not read it all but I want to emphasize Genesis chapter two and Imma start at verse one and then, I want to highlight where the married couple comes into play and this is very powerful. This is where we're to start.

It starts thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all of the host of them and on the seventh day, finished it. God finished his work that he had done and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So, god blessed the seventh day and made it holy. He made that day holy, that restful day holy, right? Right.

Today, Sunday or whatever you want to call it because on it, god rested from all his work that he had done in creation. Verse four says, these are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created. In the day that the lord god made the earth and heavens, verse five says, when no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up. For the lord god had not caused it to rain on the land and there was no man to work the land, work the ground, and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground. Then, the lord god formed the man of from dust, dust from the ground, and breathe into his nostrils, the breath of life.

And the and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted the garden in Eden in the East and there he put the man whom he formed. If you notice, god is performing this. God is doing it, right? So, this is the beginning on how god created man for woman and and and if we, I want to touch on, we'll touch on homosexuality and things of that nature in another case because we're not talking about just marrying two people.

And that's that's a ministry within itself and we'll deal with it. Verse nine says, out of the ground, the lord god made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. I always was fascinated to understand that natural when when people begin to start going natural and and and growing from the ground, how healthier they are, right? Verse and and then it says, the tree of life was in the midst of the garden and a tree of knowledge of good and evil. Verse 10 says, a river flowed out of Eden in to the water of the garden and there divided became four rivers.

I won't go through the four rivers. I wanna jump to verse 15. Want you to read it. I want us to read it. I want people to be informed on what a godly marriage looks like, what it feels like, what it what god said it is.

Right. Because when we talk about marriage talk and we can we can trip and have fun and great in which we do. We have a great time with one another. However, there's a foundation on this thing. Right.

And when it gets tricky, when it gets where we feel like we can't do this anymore. If it's a godly marriage, you go back to the foundation of it. Verse 15 says, the lord god took the man and put him in the Garden Of Eden to work it and keep it and the lord god commanded the man saying, you may surely eat of every tree of the garden but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat. For the day that you eat of it, sure shall surely die. Verse 18 said, then the lord god said, it is not good for the man, for the man should be alone.

Let me say this again. It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper. I want to first go back so we can understand the scriptures that I've already read. You understand that there's not one without the other but there's an order that god created, right?

God created order. Within what you should see me and heard me read, there's an order in that. One didn't come before the other. It's it's it's the old saying, the horse don't come before the cart. Right.

If you put the cart first, the horse is gonna be behind and and and pulling the horses. How that look? That that just don't really make sense. It's just it's just gravity if you will, right? I mean, if you jump up, you're going come down.

If you get up and you think you're Superman and you're on that molly and you start flying, you think I'm flying. You can guarantee it somewhere.

You're coming down. You coming down and you going to hit something that don't move. That's

right. So. That's right. The real deal part of it, god created order.

So, I want you to understand this order. I think we read through the creation of the Earth, heaven and the Earth and just read it for history if you will. I read it and I've been giving it to, it been given to me through the Holy Spirit. Order. If if let let me put it in human terms and purpose.

Order and purpose. Order and purpose. If one didn't come before the other, it don't work.

Right.

Can I say that? Right. When when we look at something and say, well, we can do this. Well, if this before, if you build the foundation of a house and you start with the roof first with no foundation, that roof, even though you got a roof over your head.

What's holding it up?

What's holding the foundation? So, can I say that god had a foundation in how he built it out? So, that's very important to show when we get into this marriage thing that we're talking about so you can understand it because god gave it to me plainly years ago and that's why I prayed for the woman of god. I prayed. I asked her.

I said, lord, when I prayed when when I got out of my first marriage and and that it didn't work because it wasn't a godly marriage. The one thing I prayed, I said, lord, I don't want her to be cray cray. I don't want a woman that is a misfit to you. Right. I wanted someone that love you first and that can make me a priority through you.

Right. Does that make sense, women? Right. You want, you want a man that represents god no matter what. Even in his weakness, even in his weakness, you know that brother, that man is a is a god to do, right?

So, let me get to verse, then, going skip over. Imma get to verse 23 and then we're to really get into just having a great time about marriages, right? Right. Verse 23 said, then the man said, no, I'm sorry. Let me go back because that's the filter that I I missed.

Verse number 20. Imma start with that. It said, the man gave names to all livestock and the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field but for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. Right. That word fit.

Fit for him. I want you to hear that. That's so that, man, we miss some things like that.

We do.

We just married because we like one another. We've we've done some things that made us feel close. Please believe me. There has to be passion behind it. Some people think, well, it it's just a transaction.

We just watched a movie that was very powerful. It it dealt with transaction. You you you're married for transaction because it look good. However, it's not god's fit for you.

Or just because you had sex and and you know you shouldn't have. So, we gotta make it right and we should get married because you think that's what god's plan is.

That's the that's the cart before the heart.

Y'all might not be fit, right?

That's the cart before the heart.

That's the cart before the heart.

You you got, you put emotions in it.

Put emotions in it and and you're not hearing the voice of god because now you've stepped outside of god's will. You stepped outside of god's order and you put the cart before the horse and no judgement here. I mean, we're just saying, make sure that when you're making a decision that you're hearing god's voice. Right. Even outside of even in the midst of you you've done something that you know you weren't supposed to do.

Right. God is a forgiving god and and and we don't sit in judgement. We we know that all have sinned and come short of the glory of god but don't allow, don't let anybody force you into something because you think it's a good idea. Is it is it god's plan? That's what we need to be.

So, verse 21, I want to wrap this up so we can get into our conversation that we're going to have today. Verse 21 says, so the lord god called a deep sleep to fall upon the man and while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up his place with flesh. Verse 22 says, and the rib that the lord god had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. I wanna stop there. There's a lot more, but what we're gonna start with what I want you to understand there's order but understand who was.

You know how we have women when we do get married, whether you have a father, a brother, or whoever that walks you down the aisle, right? Whoever that may be, it's a it's a powerful way of saying number one, I trust as the man. I trust you with this woman. I believe in you and I want you to understand in essence, the way I look at it is, she looks at me. She now should look at you as she looked at me.

Right. So, listen to this man. In marriages and if we've gotten it wrong, let's go back. Let's look at what truly god did to create marriage. I want you to look at verse 22.

It says, and the real that the lord god had taken from the man he made into a to a into a woman. This is the verse and brought her to the man. Look who walked Eve down the aisle. God himself. Let's talk about that thing.

Amen. Let's talk about that thing. You better heard me when you hear me.

Amen.

God walked Eve down the aisle. God told Adam, this woman is fit for you. Right. There you go. Right.

So, can we just really start with that and and stop pretending that we have perfect marriages. Right. There's no perfect marriage. However, there is a perfect fit from god because the one thing that we like to ask a lot is, why is this not working? You know, the movie that Tyler put out?

Why did we get married? Why did you get married? That question can be answered solely by individuals who's working together under one fit. God's fit. And if we keep asking ourselves that the one thing that people will miss out on is did god bless it?

That's right.

God.

Did god.

Will not.

Did he put it together?

Did he ordain it?

That's right.

Right. Did he bring the woman to you? And did he bring the woman to the right the the right fit for we know we if if you sold out, you know.

And he and he did not Here's what I'm hearing in my spirit, men. When god brought Adam and brought Eve to Adam, Adam did not say, oh, she fine. Oh, I like her curves. Oh, I like her hips. Oh, I like her lips.

Oh, I like her outward appearance. He knew spirit to spirit. That's who I'm supposed to marry. And we here in the world where you you need to be attracted to the person. I mean, if I don't find them attractive on the outside, I'm not going to even look at them.

But when god brought Eve to Adam, he didn't say, oh, she fine. No, I don't want her because she don't look, she's not my type. Right. It's a spiritual thing and if you're not connected spiritually, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about how fine she is, about her outward appearance, about you know, you bringing this girl and she she looks this kind of way and yeah, that's my my trophy wife, that's my trophy girlfriend and you know, she she is always made up. She's always got a hair done, always got a nails done, always got this and that and the other.

Looking attractive and and don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with looking attractive. There's nothing wrong with making yourself you you feeling good about yourself. So, you you do comb your hair. You don't want to go outside looking, you know, with manny hair or you know, teeth not brushed, you're not bathing anything like that.

Practicing good hygiene is good but how many of you know in The United States, that's something that's important. Some other countries that might be important but if you go to a lot of maybe third world countries, they could care less about a woman's fake fingernails, fake eyelashes, makeup, fake hair, fake booty now. You know, they getting these what what they getting these butt lifts. I

don't even know

what they call em now.

The injections.

Injections and implants that or pants that make you your your bottom voluptuous or and making your breasts voluptuous. The, what's in here? Because when you take all that off and you wash all that off, what's in here? Is god saying, this is the person that I should be married to and not concerned about what my boys think, what my what my my father thinks or what anybody else think because people that know you by the spirit, they will know when you're connected by the spirit and they will know when you're connected to the flesh.

Right.

Right. So, be mindful, man. He did not say, oh, she fine and the first thing I said, I want to talk to her because she fine.

Right.

Now, I need to, I need to see what's going on spiritually with this person and do I need to approach this person because if I'm just looking at the outward appearance like he said, you don't want anybody cray cray. Women, we don't want anybody cray cray either. I don't want any and everything coming up talking to me just because you look good on the outside but you you nutty. You can have a lot of money and still be nutty and I'm like, you wasting my time and I'm wasting your. Holy Spirit, show me that person by the spirit.

Right.

Do I need to approach that person? If not, I'm gonna keep it moving. I don't care how fine

it is. So, how, you know, what we do now? You know, we're in the marriage. What what do we do? And and I believe that once we get into marriage, what we forget to do and and some of us may have stopped doing it even beforehand.

Now, we've committed. We just going down that road and we can talk about not bringing god into your your your marriage instead of you know, you invited into the wedding and we talk about that. We have wedding. We we've talked to to some some folk we, you know, and and the one thing I always say, invite god into the marriage not just the wedding. However, now you're in it.

You you could've, I believe my my opinion is that it broke down even before you said that I do. Now, Imma tell you the reason why because we believe we sign a contract and we don't ever enter into what we believe in our brain, in our mind, a covenant.

Right.

It it is different. It it is a cup. It when you know that you're in a covered relationship, you know that thing can't be broken. We went to a ministry some years ago and it was a ministry that had, you know, had some people coming and it was I don't lost in his name now but he's a singer.

Oh, Montel Jordan.

Montel Jordan and his wife. So, Montel Jordan, his wife, and a lot of people might not have known that Montel and his wife were married when he was he was out there chart topping with with his singing. He just said that, you know, for the image that go that flesh, that image but he never let it go but here's the thing, that image needed to show that he was a single dude.

Right. The record industry.

Right. The record industry had to make him a six foot eight, six, and how tall it was, a single man because the women, they wouldn't be able to sell him if they knew he was taken. Right. But what he said and what they said was very powerful. They had a a table out on the on the when they first came out.

Right. So, when they came out on the stage, they had a table. I think they had two swords or one sword. They had something on the table. I believe it was two swords.

Uh-huh. And they had they had yeah, it was two swords. One of em said, marriage. One of em said, divorce. And what they, this, this was the image that we saw which was powerful.

They took the sword that had divorce and took it off the table.

Right.

They said, we ain't even talk, that ain't even gonna be in the conversation. We we getting this thing. We in it for life but when when we say that, we should commit to covenant not contract. Right. Because when we commit the covenant, what we're saying is, no matter what, we're going back to the very thing that put us together when we know it was a fit from god.

Right. The one of the prophets in the Bible, we talk, I talked about this a lot and it blesses me and it comes up with this a lot. So, he talked about building there was a they were building buildings for the profit school. Let me just put it that way. They build profit and build a profit school.

They got big in and banging and hitting with hammer and all that and one of the prophets lost the hammers, the hammer and sickle if you will. Lost the the the strength part of it and and the prophet came to and the major prophet came to him basically asked him.

The axe

head. The axe head. He said, where, you know, basically, where is it? He said, well, I lost it and it's borrowed. It's not mine.

He said, well, basically, let's go find it because you've lost your strength.

Yeah.

So, in in essence, the holy spirit showed me that one time and basically was sharing with me is, listen, where did you lose your strength? Men, I would ask you, where did you lose that love for that woman that you would protect with your life? And I would say, go back to that and ask the lord to strengthen you on that. That's not backtracking. That's just saying you've lost your your love for the one that you know god gave.

So, in essence, what do you do when them days come? You have a you have a a spat or the question that you have for one another and you know, the the the very thing that I believe takes marriages by I I I guess I say by surprise. Is we get entangled with conversating with another individual and begin to start talking about your issues and problems within your marriage. When you should be talking about and communicating that to the person that you're frustrated with.

Yeah. A lot of times and I'm going to add to that. A lot of times, people are looking for help. I I was in a situation where I couldn't talk to that person because they just refused to listen. They were never wrong.

It was always me. They refused to make any adjustments or any changes. So, I got tired of talking and I went to the pastor of the church that we were attending and I talked some a minister in the church. I just needed assistance. I prayed and talked to the lord and and the lord revealed some things to me and when he revealed to me was he already told me no, not to not to even even into that relationship and I did.

So, sometimes, what what pastor is saying is, do not run to somebody just because and complain about your marriage just because. If you are led by the spirit of lord to speak to someone, make sure that you're going for counseling. Make sure that you're going to get the wisdom of god and you're not just going talking and complaining because that's not going to help. That's not.

What does

that change?

But does that, I mean, does it show that that that's not a godly marriage when because you you mentioned you dealing with someone that that won't talk. What what does what do you do when the the conversation, the communication is just.

Has just ceased. Well, in my situation, I just shut completely down from that person. I I I grew weary and I got tired of talking. I got tired of trying to share my point of view, trying to share what does and when I say my point of view, what I sense the lord saying, changes that needed to take place in order for this marriage to continue.

So, where do where do you go from? So, now, we gotta deal with.

Where do you go from there?

Right, because we know, we know of and and we've been around. I mean, we we we are a seasoned couple. Man, what what do you do when you just stuck in a relationship especially a marriage and it's supposed to be for life. It I I believe now is transferred over the contract now. Even if you feel like you're in a covenant.

Right. That because one person is shut down.

One person has has gotten to the point where they just they just give up and you have to have such a relationship with god that you have to know what to do. I I I wouldn't advise anyone to just walk away just to walk away. You have to know because even if you have people who are not equally yoked when they get married. God can still move on the behalf of both parties. If both parties are willing to allow the spirit of the lord to minister to them, to counsel them, to tell them, hey, you need to make an adjustment in this area.

You need to make an adjustment in that area.

I'm a little bit more radical with it. Don't mean to cut you off right. We we I want to give I really want to give substance behind when we're talking to because this is how we we we communicate with married couples. This is how we communicate with individual that maybe in in a a tough situation and what do you do? We do wanna go back to the scriptures but we have to be real with twenty first century but I I wanna always couple it.

We gonna always, number one is gonna be scripturally based. I would say this and we're we're going to wind this down because we want to be very prudent with with with your time and our time. Thirty minutes at a spot at times as god moves us not to be perfect. If god moves us to an hour, whatever the case may be but I would I would I would I would challenge you with this. What do you do?

Number one, challenge yourself on your walk. First of all, you know, praying is great. You're supposed to pray but at the end of the day, when one don't want to one shut down, the other going shut down. Now, you got two shut down people. Yes, you need to go back to your foundation of your wall.

That's why we're talking about this marriage talk which is based off the scriptures now. Now, if you're in the world, that thing ain't going to work anyway. I I I know that's going to they're going to shake some folk. It ain't going work. It just ain't going work because you're going to challenge yourself to listen to everybody else in the world.

Paul did some things, excuse me, Peter was doing some things and Jesus, Jesus would challenge him. Imma tell you how Jesus challenged him. We remember when Jesus basically told Peter on this rock, I build my church where the gates of hell cannot prevail. He wouldn't call him Peter the rock even though in Hebrew, Peter's name means the the the rock if you will. He was he was really challenging Peter to step up.

You're the first. You're going to be the leader if you will. However, if you follow the conversation that they had, you will find out that Jesus would challenge Peter when he was out of bounds. He would call him Simon sometimes.

He would.

He would call him Simon Peter sometime.

He would.

So, at that point and even apostles, I know there's a story that we're watching. The chosen with them that's out right now and some of the apostles and I believe that happened in that thing when they come when they heard him call him Simon, the apostle like, why is Jesus calling him Simon now? Right. That's challenging So, this is what I want to leave you with. Challenge the the scriptures When you challenge the scriptures, the scriptures going to challenge you back with truth.

What Jesus was trying to share with Peter is, you're out of bound. Without telling him, he's out of bound. He would say, Simon and Peter then would go back to challenge. Why? In essence, why did he change my name in the first place?

Right. So, with that, I wanna wrap this this little conversation, Marriage Talk to Up and understand that I won't always be the dumb at one time. We gonna have, we gonna challenge. We want we want your feedback. I would I would challenge you as a couple to sit down every night and communicate and talk.

I wanna challenge you to hit us up on Email and hit us up at Ignivia Inc.

Full of grace.

Excuse me. I I said that wrong because I got we got a couple of em. Full of grace SC. WC. WC.

That's why we're married. See that right there? Full of Grace WC@Gmail dot com. I want you to challenge your marriage. Write down some questions that you may want to hear challenged by the word, not by Patrick and Eleanor.

I want you to truly challenge your marriage by the scriptures.

Right.

And when you do that, we want to be a part of your walk. So, contact us through Full of Grace WC@Gmail. Com. I want you to click on challenge yourself to come on and and have a a faithful conversation in collaboration with Patrick and Eleanor because we're not going to walk this perfectly. However, in this world right now, we need to walk it collaboratively.

We need marriages that are a Christ centered. So, other couples, young couples who are afraid to get married right now, don't want to bring children to this crazy world but understand that god sent his son in the most craziest part of the world. Right. At the most craziest time. So, we want to love on you.

We want you to, you know, contact us, stay in communication with us, write them questions down, and and and let's communicate about it and challenge it by the word.

And I want to end with this. Go back to what I was saying. Don't be afraid to obey god. And the outcome that you want may not be the outcome that's needed. Obey god and don't be concerned about the what ifs because if god is telling you to do a thing, do a thing.

He knows the end from the beginning. Don't be afraid to obey god and don't pray what you want. Pray the lord's will because god's will is greater than anything we want, anything we desire. We get our flesh. We get our emotions in the way.

Obey god.

God bless you. We'll see you next time.